Before I Die

This short first chapter introduces us to Tessa, the novel’s main character and narrator. Tessa is lying in her bed, daydreaming about having sex with an imaginary boyfriend. She then envisions the scene downstairs in her house, where she can hear her father and her younger brother Cal.

She ignores her father when he comes into her room to check in on her, feigning sleep. However, she does greet Cal when he comes into her room a few moments later. He has been sent by her father (as she already knows) to ask her whether she would like some blackberries. She declines, telling him jokingly that she would prefer “a baby elephant” (3). Cal responds, “I’m going to miss you” (3), referring to Tessa’s terminal illness.

Tessa’s friend Zoey visits her, summoned (as we later learn) by Tessa’s father. When Zoey sees that Tessa has written, “I want to feel the weight of a boy on top of me” on her wall (1), the two of them burst out laughing. Tessa wants Zoey to help her carry out her last wishes, one of which is to go out to a club and to find a guy.