In a Holidaze

“‘Do I tell Andrew?’ He rebounds a question right back: ‘Why would Andrew need to know?’ I blink up to his face and catch the gentle sympathy there. Oof. He’s right. Andrew doesn’t need to know, because he wouldn’t care one way or another.”

This scene establishes Mae and Benny’s unusually close relationship and indicates his willingness to push her even in her moments of vulnerability. Mae’s tone here is resigned, almost hopeless, reflecting her internal misconception that she could never be someone who would catch Andrew’s romantic interest. Benny’s pointed question ultimately becomes key to the plot, as honesty is a core part of Mae’s emotional journey toward a meaningful connection with Andrew.

“This is what we do together; we become our old-person characters Mandrew and Maisie. We make our voices shaky and high-pitched—to play, to confide, to tease—but I’m too freaked out to play along. ‘Nothing.’ I shrug. ‘Didn’t sleep well.’ The lie feels oily on my tongue.”

Though Mae insists at this stage that Andrew could never love her, this anecdote foregrounds their deep history and connection. Clearly, they find both humor and vulnerability in their interactions together, and this dynamic hints that they are far more suited as partners than Mae realizes at this point. Mae’s description of her lie as “oily” also indicates that her relationship with Andrew is usually authentic and vulnerable, adding more proof that intimacy between them already exists.

“Change is never good. Change is Dad switching medical practices when I was five and never being home again during daylight. Change is my best friend moving away in eighth grade. Change is a terribly advised pixie cut sophomore year. Change is relocating to LA, realizing I couldn’t afford it, and having to move back home. Change is kissing one of my oldest friends when I was drunk.”

The authors’ use of repetition here indicates the depth of Mae’s misconceptions about the nature of chance, and as she lists a barrage of negative associations, the word “change” itself becomes a harbinger of her internal anxiety. Evolution, in her reckoning, only worsens one’s circumstances, and she cites dubious “proof” from her early in childhood experiences and her struggles with embracing full adulthood.